Where You Left Me by Jennifer Gardner Trulson

Author:Jennifer Gardner Trulson
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Gallery Books
Published: 2011-07-15T00:00:00+00:00

10

After the Cantor Wives Dinner, I made a concerted effort to will myself back into a less fraught, more even-keeled friendship with Allison. Every time I saw her, I cursed my impulse to dwell on what was missing and focused on how much I wanted to recapture the breezy, giggly, intimate connection we had before 9/11 forever changed the landscape. Allison was patient; she never pushed me to move faster than I could manage, but she also never left me alone to wallow in solitude for too long. A phone call, an invitation to brunch, or a gossipy e-mail would reconnect us. We never discussed our rocky first few months—what was the point? What mattered was the future, and neither of us was going to face it without her best friend in tow. As the frenzied activity in the Lutnick household eventually subsided and I began to adapt as a single parent, we found time to breathe and fell back into a semblance of our familiar routine of late-afternoon manicures and play dates with our children. I even helped her and Edie Lutnick organize Cantor’s charitable auction for the Relief Fund held in June at Sotheby’s. Famous vendors from around the world generously donated vacations, jewelry, clothing, art, and sports memorabilia to support Cantor’s efforts to care for its 658 families. Drafting and inputting descriptions of each auction lot for the journal kept my mind occupied and allowed me to feel useful again. It was energizing to contribute to the team, but it was recovering my bearings with my best friend that really saved me.

By early summer my social life had taken on a predictable pattern. If I needed to get out of the house, I could call Allison and ask, “Take a widow to dinner?” No matter what they were doing, Allison and Howard always made me their “plus one.” With the Lutnicks I didn’t have to venture into the world as an untethered former wife. Cocooned in their posse, I still felt like a married woman continuing a facsimile of the life I had with Doug. These “pass the widow” arrangements among my close friends (Pam and Vicky were also always reliable participants) were familiar and routine now; it was all the variety I needed outside of raising Michael and Julia.

Not only did I tag along with Allison and Howard in the city, but we took our act to the Hamptons that summer as well. Doug and I had just moved into the summer home we built in the northwest woods of East Hampton the previous year. It amazed me how quickly we put that place together—from dirt to house in nine months. What amazed me more was that Doug chose the Hamptons at all. His childhood summers were spent with his family in Seaview, a village on the narrow strip of land off the coast of Long Island called Fire Island, known for its uncrowded beaches, family-run general stores, and casual lifestyle. No cars are allowed; residents

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